The more deeply I explore the nature of trauma within myself, the deeper my desire grows to truly understand it and know how to work with it within myself and others.
As a health and life coach, I absolutely love the work I do, and I truly feel like it supports people deeply with developing incredible structures and practices in their lives, and in illuminating what’s in the way between where they are now and where they want to be.
The sessions create beautiful breakthroughs and openings that are a joy to witness, however I can’t help but see the limitations involved with traditional coaching when we are not truly digging underneath the traumas that are held within the body.
This realisation and understanding is very organically changing where my practice and coaching is gravitating…and as a result, the profound depth I’m now reaching with clients is all the confirmation I would need to verify this new discovery.
Because the truth is that I can give someone the perfect diet and nutrition plan for their constitution and body, I can support them in reversing their physical symptoms, I can give them self-love practices that will create incredible changes in their life and their relationship to themselves, I can point out their limiting beliefs that are holding them back…
BUT – if my work does not involve getting a client into their body to FEEL the emotional charge that these limitations were born FROM…they will only get so far, and I will know that I am only working at a superficial level (with their conscious mind) which is not creating true and substantial change in their life.
Not to mention, they won’t know how to move forward confidently and autonomously with new challenges once our time working together is complete..
Because if we do not go to the very core, and release these traumas from the body and the subconscious mind (which are one in the same), we will continue to feel like we are doing all of the ‘right things’ in life yet just keep cycling in the same patterns and limitations, wondering why we haven’t been able to move forward and figure it out.
We take two steps forward, then one step back.
We can even manifest wonderful things, yet we can’t enjoy or appreciate them because the inner realm of limitation still has its grip on us. We can’t enjoy the fruits because the way we are relating to them is still through scarcity, attachment and wounding. So what’s the point?
We see this a lot in “manifestation work” that many spiritual seekers are working with these days. People will visualise every single morning, listen to Abraham all day, write countless lists, and pour a huge amount of effort into monitoring their thoughts as to only produce positive ones that will create more abundance, love, success etc.
I have worked with several people now who have truly harmed themselves with this approach to manifestation and only solidified their self-hatred patterns as they attribute the fact that they aren’t manifesting their dream life successfully to something being inherently wrong with them.
Their obsessive-compulsive tendencies grab hold of manifestation rhetoric which only leads to tonnes more self-control and fear, to the point where they feel crippled and completely responsible for any negative experience that they have.
But of course, this is not healthy, not the way it works, and will cause a lot of harm to a traumatised person. In my own experience of learning about and even ‘getting high’ on the hype of manifestation for many years, it works tremendously the moment we start to truly integrate unconscious aspects.
If we try to manifest using thought and the mind alone, we will just go around in circles.
Where true, sustainable, irrevocable changes come from, is actually getting in touch with and integrating the deeply held unconscious emotions stored within the body that are preventing our natural flow of success and expansion.
When we can start to do that, everything in life truly starts to unravel, synchronicities bloom, abundance effortlessly flows, incredible relationships and friendships surround us, and we quite literally start to witness our dream life manifesting before our eyes, with no effort or hard work at all.
This is because our level of self-worth and our belief in ourselves is finally in equal measure to what we are wanting to call in. Through every level of our being, we become a match for our desire.
Though this doesn’t always come easily and certainly not as easy as people would like. A lot of people on this path want a magic pill, nutritional plan, book, fun and exciting protocol or missing secret, that will shift their whole life the way they would like it in the blink of an eye, without them having to look at what’s actually happening inside of them.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news here folks, but the body and the unconscious mind hold the score and are absolutely where true change begins..and sometimes the process of getting in touch with that ain’t pretty!
Though the more embodied we become, the more familiar and sustainable it becomes, the more we get to understand ourselves, and the more motivated we feel to keep going – as we see the results of it blooming before us in beautiful changes unfolding in our lives without any grunt. Seamless, effortless manifestations.
…more flow, more abundance, more aligned opportunities and a deeper connection to ourselves.
Yet this work may require you to feel the pain of what happened to you as a child, the pain of separation, of abandonment, of feeling unloveable, of feeling like a failure…
Because underneath every limiting belief that is holding us back from everything we desire in this life, is an unprocessed FEELING that is longing for your acknowledgement.
There is a child within all of us that went through painful things in their own way. You may not consider yourself a ‘traumatised individual’ but if you aren’t living your ideal reality and feeling amazing every day, my perspective is that this still applies to you.
That child wants their pain to be seen and felt. That child needs you to offer them the support they needed at that time when the belief was imprinted and didn’t receive.
During a medicine journey a few years back I had the visceral experience that my inner child is not some figment of my imagination/memory or some fluffy spiritual term for healing. I felt that there is literally still a 3-year-old child within me. Literally! It was so uncomfortable to realise because I suddenly became aware of the responsibility I have as a parent to that child.
It’s not something that switches on and off as I shift my focus to different things. It’s not something that magically appears when I decide to ‘do some inner child work’…that child is there 100% of the time, needing my love, support and care as a literal small child in physical form would.
I felt her there within me…sad, alone and waiting for someone to acknowledge her. This image still brings tears to my eyes.
So in this sense, I like to tell my clients to drop all of their ideas about manifestation and their dream life. Let’s go back to square one together and give some love to that little child. Let’s actually start to acknowledge him or her before we start asking life for everything we think we need.
What we are all truly longing for is to simply feel connected to ourselves and to feel happy. Period. Most other things on top of that are egotistical ideas that won’t feel as great as you imagine, trust me.
Because the very moment we become the most loving parent to ourselves, CONSISTENTLY and GENUINELY, is the moment our whole life will begin to change. And I’m not talking about staying on the surface saying loving phrases to yourself that you don’t mean or feel. I’m not talking about saying affirmations daily and practising superficial self-care and calling it loving yourself as you check things off your list.
I’m talking about not leaving yourself and your body anymore, even when it feels uncomfortable.
I’m talking about FEELING the emotions coming up and instead of turning a blind eye…staying.
Staying for as long as it takes for your child to feel safe again.
I’m talking about holding yourself in the deepest layers of your pain, until that child actually trusts that you are going to stay, even when it gets ugly and feels too much to bear, or excuses like ‘I’m too busy’ or ‘there are other things more important that I need to tend to’ arise.
I’m talking about being honest with yourself about the places you are abandoning yourself…and doing everything you can to learn how to feel safe in your body again and creating the practices and habits that anchor that form of awareness every single day. Get the support you need, call in the resources. Do what you need to do to make that commitment a reality.
I promise you it will be the biggest game changer of all, and you will experiences benefits that go far beyond what you thought you wanted in this life.
You will feel connected to your most authentic gifts and talents.
You will live as the radiant, fearless, joyful child you once were.
You will understand your fellow humans and the world we live in more deeply than you knew was possible.
You will finally understand that joy, freedom, abundance, success, love and everything else we all want, is our birthright and is NATURAL.
It’s simply about releasing what’s in the way of that.
If you have just read this and realised you feel disconnected from your emotional body or you aren’t sure if you are truly ‘feeling’ or how to navigate intense emotions when they do come up, I recommend finding the support you need so that you feel confident with that process.
Get in touch with me or scope out if there are any Somatic, body-based healers in your network to be supported by. In my opinion and experience, it will get you a lot further than any other modality will and your manifestations will absolutely reflect it.
The body is the gateway.